I'm returning from a mentally exhausting trip to my hometown this weekend. Whenever I go home, it's always a balancing act. From the beginning of planning, I find myself balancing the dates, ticket prices, workload, and expectations. When I get there, I'm balancing visiting my two families, visits with friends, my workload, and expectations. Then, when I leave, it's balancing goodbyes, preparations for the next day, my workload, and expectations. Do you see the common denominator here?
I work remotely. To many, that sounds like the ideal situation, and most times, it is. To be untethered to any one location to do work has immense upsides - I am in the comfort of my own home. I save time since I don't have a commute and save money on gas and making food at home. However, I am beginning to realize that remote work and work-life balance are two things that do not coexist harmoniously in my reality. So, I am starting to wonder if work-life balance is even real.
My trip home was supposed to be a four-day weekend trip - I still had to work on Friday and Monday. I asked to work on ET time even though my company is PT and was granted this request. But come Friday, after an exhausting, sleepless, red-eye flight to Detroit. I found myself dreading logging in even to start the day's work. As I looked at the clock at 7 pm ET, I realized that this so-called 'balance' I was granted evaporated into thin air in lieu of the work needed.
It's something that I am having trouble rationing because no one explicitly told me I could not leave. Still, the mental tether to getting my work done, supporting my team, seeing things through to the finish, and, let's be honest, a fear of 'getting in trouble' had me neglecting my family for two hours and leaving them waiting on me, texting me, wondering where I was and if I would make the family dinner that we had planned weeks ago.
And now, here I am on Monday, typing up this blog from home when I was supposed to still be in Michigan with family. I changed my flight to make it home on Sunday because the stress from working remotely was just too much. I knew I couldn't deal with having to work all day, say goodbye to family, and then hoof it to the airport only to log in as I waited to board my plane.
I realize that 'work-life balance' doesn't exist in this situation. And is my fear of losing the respect of my colleagues and employer real? Or is this a mental shackle I've created for myself?
Either way. Somehow, it feels imbalanced, like the 'work' in work-life balance comes first because it's the priority. I don't want that to be the reality. So, I'm choosing to think differently and shift my mindset about what work-life balance means to me, especially with the holidays coming up.
Here are some affirmations I give myself to keep myself grounded in my beliefs and where my loyalties lie. Maybe these affirmations can help you, too, if you are reading this and in the same work-life balance struggle I find myself in.
Five affirmations for work-life balance:
I respect myself, my time, and my boundaries and prioritize these things above all else.
I keep promises I make to my loved ones.
Urgency is a feeling I am totally in control of; when I feel a sense of urgency, I replace this feeling with calm, rational thoughts.
I choose to have work interactions that respect my time and boundaries.
I am in control of my time.
I stand up for myself and my needs in a work relationship.
Everything is working out the way I intend; the universe sends me situations that are right for me.
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