Seriously, obviously I'm alive but I have been taking a digital and social break while I adjusted to my new life in my new place. For those who don't know, I recently broke up with my job, my boyfriend, and California to move across the country to North Carolina.
I wish I could say it was easy peasy and everything worked swimmingly, but life does not work that way and well since I have been in North Carolina, life has indeed been lifin'. Moving was stressful, I had issues with my apartment and had to move again, and I am overall adjusting to being 'homesick,' single, and dealing with the financial blow that came from splitting from two monumental things in my life, my job and my partner of three years. All this resulted in a drop in income and a temporary increase in spending due to the costs of moving. Needless to say I was very stressed about my finances and the goals I was planning to reach this year.
Coming out of the other side of things, I finally feel some semblance of normalcy and routine. I now know this was the right move... financially and from a place of self growth. Even though my heart and emotions miss California and the lifestyle there, I am determined to take advantage of growing myself in NC. I'm finally just allowed myself to 'be' here and stop lamenting my loss. I'm not moving back because I'm here and while I'm here I might as well enjoy it - think of it as a self-help retreat and work on all the things I was slacking on. I've joined Lifetime Fitness here, gotten a trainer, signed up for Salsa On2 classes, and even got back into Kizomba (leading). But my 'ah-ha' moment in NC came when I sat down for my first formal 'financial date night' to reconcile my net worth and saw that I had made it to $135,000K.
I was very happily surprised; after the hit I thought my finances took and the ups and downs of the stock market, I am still on the up and up. I had to admit that I was scared to look at my finances, and I struggled with anxiety each time I thought about opening my budget sheet, but thank goodness past me had some really tangible financial skills built to rely on. Skills like tracking my spending, automating my budget, and past me setting up my money to work for me, even if I wasn't actively managing it.
So if you are in that space as well, financial anxiety, dreading doing your budget, watching your resources and worth slip through your hands like water every month. First, realize it's ok. We all feel some anxiety around money now and then. But then ask yourself, 'What skills have I given myself to keep my finances working when my anxiety creeps in?'
These skills could be as simple as auto-debiting $100 into a retirement or savings account each paycheck or setting up your income into buckets that compartmentalize your spending. Or your one skill could be realizing that you need help building other skills! Self-awareness is a skill :) If that's you, then check out this resource.
Create and Automate your budget on own your terms: https://www.yaelcardwell.com/courses
Until next time!
Yaya
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